"Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war...."
-- Julius Caesar

"Life...is a tale...full of sound and fury...."
-- Macbeth

"No woman can be too rich or too thin."
-- Wallis Simpson

"Let them eat cake."
-- Somebody, but not Marie Antoinette

Friday, July 31, 2009

Beer Summit

I have heard on the radio that there was a beer summit at the White House yesterday. It seems that the president borrowed one of my mommy's leadership techniques. She calls it the "Do You Guys Want a Disgusting Lamb Treat?" technique. Mommy uses this technique when Duncan and I are in dispute over something, most often a toy. When we won't come to a compromise on the toy dispute, Mommy says, "Would you guys like a disgusting lamb treat?" Now, Duncan and I know that when Mommy says we are going to get a disgusting lamb treat, we are going to get a delicious piece of greasy, smelly lamb jerky. Yummy. As soon as Mommy suggests the treats, Duncan and I forget about the toy, the dispute, and the rest of the world itself, and very quickly sit by the cupboard with the disgusting lamb treats. Mommy gives them to us, we eat them, and then we sleep.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Transformations

Mommy has been painting the mud room. She has painted it so that it will be pretty and clean. She now calls it the "garden room" because she wants the transformation to be complete down to its name.

I have new markings because of this painting. Because I, Poppy, am a curious pug, I went out to the garden room while Mommy was painting. I sniffed around, and when I was done, I had paint on my ears. These highlights are pretty. Since I am now six years old, I can choose to color my hair if I want.

Often when Mommy paints or cleans she wears a mask. I am a literal pug, so masks confuse me. Is Mommy the same person when she wears the mask?

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Delicious Odiferousness

I have found a dead bird. There is nothing to it at all, except dry, hollow bones and greasy feathers. I love this dead bird so much that I lie it on the dog bed in the mud room so it will be near me all the time.

A Tail of Two Chewies

Mommy has given Duncan and me identical chewies. They are both the same in length, girth, and quality. We were equally excited to receive them. Yet my chewie sits undisturbed as I lay on the floor not a foot away from Duncan and bark at him while he chews on his.