"Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war...."
-- Julius Caesar

"Life...is a tale...full of sound and fury...."
-- Macbeth

"No woman can be too rich or too thin."
-- Wallis Simpson

"Let them eat cake."
-- Somebody, but not Marie Antoinette

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

My 2008 Oscar Picks


Best Actor

Johnny Depp in "Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)*

Penelope knows none of these actors, but wonders if she couldn't get some of the meat pie action if she cozys up to the Demon Baraber himself. Penelope is not picky about meat pies.

Best Supporting Actor

Casey Affleck in "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford”* This is the only performance that reminded Penelope of a dog.

Best Actress

Laura Linney in "The Savages"* Penelope has little use for civilization.

Best Supporting Actress

Cate Blanchett in "I'm Not There" * Penelope feels that often people feel that she is not there. Therefore she must take desperate measures -- barking, in a scolding, demanding way -- loving indescriminately strangers and family alike -- to be noticed as "there."

Best Animated Feature

"Ratatouille" * Penelope has never seen a rat, but is very happy that animals are allowed in her kitchen.

Art Direction

"There Will Be Blood" * Yes, but will there be meat pies?

"No Country for Old Men" Roger Deakins* The cinematography in this movie (which Penelope didn't see) reminded her of "The Far Side" cartoon captioned "Poodles of the Seregheti" (which Penelope has never read).

Costume Design
"Sweeney Todd The Demon Barber of Fleet Street" Colleen Atwood One word: hair.

"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" Julian Schnabel Butterflies are sort of like moths, which Penelope delights in hunting down and eating. Crunchy.

Best Documentary Feature
"No End in Sight" *

Best Documentary Short Subject

"There Will Be Blood" Dylan Tichenor* Penelope had no response when asked whether she prefered "Into the Wild" in this category. She did bark when we went down the list to "No Country for Old Men," But she was definite about "There Will be Blood." Plus, her brother Duncan wagged his tail when he heard "There Will be Blood."

Best Foreign Language Film
"Mongol" Kazakhstan* Penelope feels that the cinema of this country has been overlooked entirely.

"Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End" Ve Neill and Martin Samuel* If Johnny Depp is invovolved, can meat pies be far behind?

Original Score
"Ratatouille" Michael Giacchino* Penelope really has never met a rat, but she does like the pigeons who are nesting in the side of our house.

Original Song
"So Close" from "Enchanted" Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz* Penelope does not believe in personal space. Closeness is one of her core values.

Best Picture
"There Will Be Blood" Isn't this one based on a novel by Upton SInclair? Didn't he write something about slaughterhouses? Still holding out for meat pies.

Best Animated Short
"Même Les Pigeons Vont au Paradis * This one was, in fact, a difficult one for Penelope to decide. Three of the nominees have animals in the title. After much thought, some sniffing of Duncan, a change from one sofa to another, and a drink of water, Penelope made her decision. Walruses are interesting, but so foreign that they might as well be from Kahzahkstan. "Peter and the Wolf" does not portray members of her genus in a flattering way (Penelope, you will remember, is all about the promotion of excellent roles for dogs). Pigeons are very interesting because they make sounds like dog toys and nest in the side of your house.

Best Live Action Short
"Il Supplente (The Substitute)" Substitutes are heroic people and Penelope loves them, for their existence allows Mommy to be at home every once in a while, even though she is usually coughing up a lung when she is. However, bed rest for her Mommy means lots of time on the bed for her.

Sound Editing
"Ratatouille" * Penelope loves animal noises and is never far away from the T.V. when they are on. Unless Omar Sharif is on the T.V. Penelope can't keep her eyes off of Omar Sharif.

Sound Mixing
"Ratatouille" *

Visual Effects

Adapted Screenplay
"The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" Screenplay by Ronald Harwood*

Original Screenplay
"Ratatouille" Screenplay by Brad Bird; Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird*


Which method did you use to pick?

A. Picked what I liked
B. Picked what I thought would win
C. Random
D. Secret
E. Slept with all the movie stars* Penelope, being a pug, is also a love slut.
F. Other (explain)

How many of the Best Picture nominations (
"Atonement", "Juno", "Michael Clayton",
"No Country for Old Men", and "There Will Be Blood")
have you seen?

None. If it doesn't come from Netflix or Redbox, Penelope doesn't see it.

Which film SHOULD win Best Picture (it doesn't necessarily have to be one of
the nominees)?

What film, actor, director do you feel was the most snubbed by the academy?

What was the WORST nomination this year?

Any questions?

When can I get off the diet food?

Monday, February 18, 2008