"Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war...."
-- Julius Caesar

"Life...is a tale...full of sound and fury...."
-- Macbeth

"No woman can be too rich or too thin."
-- Wallis Simpson

"Let them eat cake."
-- Somebody, but not Marie Antoinette

Friday, June 25, 2010

Positive Spin

Maybe having a baby around won't be so bad. She is a human baby so at least she will not be following me around jumping up and down and trying to kiss me on the mouth the way a puppy would.

Perhaps her eating habits will make up for the loss of attention I will suffer. A messy eater is a comfort to a neglected dog.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Demoted

There has been a shift in the balance and order of the universe. I, Poppy, have been demoted.

Last night my Aunt Sarah had a baby, so I am not the baby of the family. I fear that I am no longer Grandma's favorite. I am afraid of what this turn of events will do to what I have come to think of as the normal rate and volume of doting and treat disbursement.

I know that this means that I will have to start facing up to the responsibilities and obligations of being an older cousin that I eschewed even though Lucy and Bear are younger than I.

I know this is expected of me. But I prefer not to.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Roomba

There is a new pet in our house. It is called Roomba. Every morning Mommy lets it loose to dust the floors. But mostly it sits in its dock and bothers no one. Duncan and I treat it the way we treat each other. Mostly, we ignore it.

Sometimes it comes straight towards us. It doesn't really like to go around things until it bumps into them. Such behavior is no problem for me because I am a little dog and I spend approximately 25% of my time avoiding getting stepped on or run in to. I am quite agile as a result.

Duncan is a big dog so he doesn't worry about being stepped on. He takes it for granted that people will move around him. He is very stubborn that way. Sometimes, even when asked to move, he won't, so Mommy and the Big Guy have to drag him out of the way. I either step on him or jump over him.

Occasionally, Roomba will bump into Duncan causing him great surprise. He is so surprised that he will look at Roomba with wonder but will not move. Roomba will back up but it is stubborn, too. It will bump into him again. By this time Duncan will be struggling to get up. He is all legs and on a wood floor he looks like Bambi on ice. Roomba will back up one more time, but it really wants to continue going forward, so it does. Duncan is big, and does not move quickly. Roomba will bump into his foot and Duncan will trip out of its way.

Mommy likes Roomba because it is productive. It picks up a lot of hair. But I am not jealous. I think, who is really the true producer? The pet who picks up the hair or the pet who creates it?