Sympathy

On the Internet there are pictures of birds getting baths. They have been covered with oil from the disaster in the Gulf of Mexico. If I understood what was going on I would be very sad for the birds and other animals who have been and will be injured by the oil. I, Poppy, am a sensitive pug.

Notwithstanding my sensitivity, I do not understand oil spills. I do, however, understand baths. The birds in the pictures look about as excited as I do when I get a bath. Today, when I take my bath, it will be a solidarity bath. I will express my solidarity with the injured animals by looking like the most oppressed pug ever born. I will frown and hang my tail down behind me.

No Dog's Land

I noticed that the First Dog, Bo, did not get to go to Yellowstone or the Grand Canyon with the President and his family. I cannot help but to think that Bo's absence was a result of the draconian policy of not allowing dogs in national parks. I, Poppy, am against this policy.

That is not to say that I myself would really want to go to a national park. I am a city dog. I went hiking twice when I was a puppy. The first time I was too little to walk the whole way, so Mommy carried me for part of it. The second time I found a patch of wildflowers and would not move from that spot. I very much resembled Ferdinand the Bull -- same shape, same posture, although much smaller.

I am against this no dogs on federal land policy because it separates dogs from their people. Poor Bo had to stay at home in the White House (how fun could that be?), far from his family. I am a Family Values Pug (not affiliated with the Blue Dog Democrats), and I think that this policy undermines the sanctity of the dog-family relationship. It is just wrong.

Breaking News: The Obamas Have a Dog

Finally, the president has appointed a new White House Dog. I am happy that canines will be represented in the president's shadow cabinet. I am also happy that the president has achieved this goal within the first 100 days of his administration. Not to have appointed a dog by then would have sent a message to all Canine-Americans that we are not the priority that we think we are. I, Poppy, had better be a priority or I will scold you. I did not want to have to scold the president.

This new dog is a Portuguese Water Dog, a gift from Senator Kennedy, who himself is a lover of Portuguese Water Dogs. Portuguese Water Dogs are retrievers and are best known for retrieving baseballs that are hit out of Candlestick Park and into McCovey Cove. They are manly dogs, and not "yippy," as the president had feared a hypo-allergenic dog might be.

Clear Mandate

Have no fear. Poppy's Blog will continue to bring you incisive political commentary even though the election is over.

Chief on my mind is the appointment of a First Pet. On election night, I was pleased to hear that the President-Elect is going to come through on one of his campaign promises and bring a puppy to the White House. In fact, there was obviously a clear mandate among the segment of the population that felt strongly about the importance of the appointment of a First Pet (that is, Malia and Sasha Obama and I); there must be a dog in the White House.

However, the election has been over for three days and no First Dog has been appointed. I hear speculation when the radio is on, and when the Humans are watching The Colbert Report, but I have yet to see action taken. It seems to me that such an appointment is an immediate need, especially given the fact that the President-Elect is now receiving intelligence briefings. A First Dog would give him solace. Unfortunately, the President-Elect has only appointed a Chief of Staff and a transition team. None of them are canine.

This state of affairs is causing me concern as I am wondering if we can expect such slow moving from an Obama administration. When Poppy barks, she expects people to listen.

Obama Dog Update

The winner of the important AKC Obama family dog election is the Poodle. Please look to previous posts to see that I, Poppy, endorsed the Poodle as the Obama family dog.

Obama Dog

I live in Denver, not very far from Invesco Field at Mile High, where the Big Speech will be made. This means that there have been very important issues on my mind lately. Those are,

• Since Mommy's professors are canceling class that night does that mean I get fed twice that day?
• What is the affect of tear gas on big, bulging eyes?
• For how long are all of those helicopters going to continue flying over our neighborhood?
• What breed of dog are all of those people who voted on the AKC web site going to pick for the Obama family?

Voting is over, so if you didn't exercise your right, you are going to have to wait until another dogless individual gets nominated by a major party. You can go to the AKC web site and see who you could have voted for, or I, Poppy, could just tell you right here on Poppy's Blog who would be the best First Dog.

First, let me be clear that the AKC erred in not suggesting a pug for First Dog. As support for this decision they gave us the reason that the little Obama girls have allergies. It is true that pugs are dander machines, but we do have large personalities, which Senator Obama is going to need to offer to the press when, as president, he finds himself in a sticky wicket. They don't call it wagging the dog for nothing.

It has been suggested to me that I not dwell for too long on that which is not mine to have, like Duncan's food. I have not given up that option. However, I will turn my attention to the other breeds of dogs that were in contention for this hallowed role.

The nominees are: the Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier; the Poodle; the Bichon Frise; the Chinese Crested, and the Miniature Schnauzer.

I, Poppy, have only met representatives of the Poodle breed. So, there. The Obamas should get a Poodle.

How Many Residences? What Does This Mean?

The radio is an important source of information for me. For example, in the morning it tells me when I am going to be fed. I know that the first time it comes on in the morning I am not going to be fed. I have to wait for the third or fourth time it comes on until one of the Ones With Thumbs feeds me. Occasionally, I ask to be fed after the first time the radio comes on, but that is rare, because I really never get anywhere with that. It is just sort of like procedure in a lawsuit. I petition to be fed. The court says no.

Additionally, the radio tells me when my parents are leaving for the day. When they shut it off, I know that I am going to be shut in the mud room.

Despite the radio as parental cipher, Fans, this post is not about the radio, but about what I heard on the radio. John McCain does not know how many houses he owns. In fact, he must have his staff tell him how many residences he keeps. This information is a distress to me. Why, you ask, should this distress me, for I, Poppy, have a city residence and a country estate? Fans, it is not about the number of residences one keeps, or that number added to the number of rental properties one is responsible for. Instead, I wonder how, if Senator McCain does not know how many residences he keeps, then does he know how many pets he lives with? The campaign has indicated that the McCains have 24 pets. If the Senator cannot keep track of four houses, how, then, can he keep track of 24 pets? Has any one ever asked him to name all of his pets, and list their ages, genders, and species? Does he know -- one can only hope! -- what kinds of foods these pets eat?

Please do not think that I am committing the fallacy of equating good leadership with good pet stewardship. I, Poppy, am not a very rational or logical pug, but even I look to the current residences of the White House and see dogs who are blinded by love and loyalty to a person who -- to put this gently, as I, Poppy, so very often fail to do -- is a better leader of dogs than he is of men.

The example of the White House today lends excellent support to the idea that all leaders, despite their greatness, or lack thereof, need great pets. How, Fans, can a pet provide appropriate service to a leader when that leader does not know how many pets he has to begin with? It seems to me that this lack of knowledge, if proven, is a fundamental breach between guardian and pet. I, Poppy, go so far as saying that it undermines a sacred relationship.

For these reasons, I, Poppy, am seriously considering not giving McCain the nod.

2003 Pug

Last year the Onion, America's finest news source, reported that breeders were issuing a recall of the 2007 model pug. It was a dark day for pugs everywhere. You can read about it here and see a slide show of chronic pug problems:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/dog_breeders_issue_massive_recall

I, Poppy, am a 2003 pug. I have not been recalled. Unlike the 2007 pug, which apparently is like a car engineered and manufactured in in Detroit in the 70s and 80s, I am more like a fine, Italian race car that demands frequent maintenance and almost obsessive upkeep. My quirks include:

• Frequent ear infections
• Frequent reverse sneezing
• Frequent itching, especially after grooming
• Allergies to all vaccinations, causing me to have preventive cortisone shots
• Pleasant plumpness
• Difficulty breathing without sounding like a distant train engine
• Snoring (see above)
• Compulsive shedding
• Delusions